Thursday, July 26, 2012

Happy Unniversary


anniversary
(an-ni-ver-sa-ry) noun
the date on which an event took place in a previous year: today is my fourth wedding anniversary.

unniversary
(un-ni-ver-sa-ry) noun
the date on which an event that should have taken place did not: North Carolinians will celebrate the unniversary of their gay marriage ban on May 9th 2013.

Important recent unniversaries include January 21st 2009, when George Bush was sworn in as the 43rd POTUS.  You know, after he and his Cronies stole the election from Al Gore.  December 13th 2011 when the Canadian government pulled out of the Kyoto Protocol, effectively reneging on the single most important piece of climate control regulation ever passed.  October 3rd 1995 when OJ Simpson was found “not guilty” of murdering Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman.  You remember; the day the entire world went “Fuuuuuuuuck!”

Thursday, July 19, 2012

43 and feeling...


birthday
(burth-dey) noun
an anniversary of the day of your birth; I can’t believe I’m having another birthday.

Sooner or later it was bound to happen.  I would have preferred later.  I’ve turned 43.

42 and still no clue has evolved into 43 and feeling _________  I’m not sure how to fill in the blank just yet but I’m confident it will come to me. 

Saturday, July 07, 2012

Braaaaains!


Zombie
(zom-bie) noun
a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, esp. in certain African or Carribbean  nations: watch out for that fucking zombie!
- informal a person who is or appears lifeless, apathetic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings.

This was my husband’s response when asked if he would kill me if I was bitten by a zombie:  “Without hesitation!”